Ten years ago, I found myself extremely unwell. Not knowing where to turn, we chose to give up a big home in suburbia for a tiny old home on acreage… yes our 3 boys shared a room, my laundry was the size of a cupboard, I had no wardrobe but used a linen cupboard in the hallway. Our home was not grand, but it was quite and peaceful, plus I was now surrounded by trees, not the sound of traffic and chaos. Suffering extreme anxiety I no longer had the panic of hearing car doors and people’s voices. My boys now had the bush to adventure in and trees to climb.
We moved planning to spend at the most two years in this tiny house – then life interrupted… a GFC plus my health declining even further made building impossible – two years turned into ten.
This house has held some beautiful memories but also a place where our family travelled a journey that was more difficult than can be put into words. Yet here we are. Still married, still alive, a family of survivors. My four men are my heroes, I could not be more blessed than to have had them stand by my side and now today, only hours ago, we finally knocked down that tiny house and are about to embark on building the home we dreamt about.
I cried when it came down today, no-one will know how bravely our little family fought to stay strong and to get to this day. As cliche as it sounds…. you cannot truly appreciate the sunshine without the storms! Miracles are not wishes granted but are the results of faith, unyielding hope and not to mention ACTION…. lots of it, getting up more times than we fall, a stubbornness that refuses to quit, that looks defeat in the face and says… “Rack off!”
So here we are, despite it all. As I watched that huge machine devour our house as if it were made of paper, I shed a tear as I reflected on our journey. I said goodbye to the heartache and I welcomed the new beginning and blessed life that is to come. I now understand that blessed does not mean perfect or without struggle but a blessed life is gratefulness and hope amongst imperfection.
Today I am grateful and maybe just a tiny bit excited… so much so that Tonight I ditched my GAPS protocol & heart rate monitor and hubby and I drank champagne and salsa danced up a storm in our living room like there was no tomorrow!
If you’re feeling grateful… then for crying out loud…CELEBRATE! If you’re in the midst of a storm then hang in there my darlings… this will pass – I promise! You will dance again.